Oblivious Love
by Chichiluffsyou
Summary: It can be a hard thing to love someone and not even realize it, but it can be harder if you love someone and they don't realize it either. Hikaru and Haruhi are still discovering the way they feel for each other and for their fellow host club members. Hikaru is overcome with confusion about Haruhi and these new awkward feelings for her.
1. Oblivious Love

[ By way of apology, I've never done a fanfiction, nor a love story, so this is lacking hugely '-' but hopefully I'll start polishing and adding more and more, and it'll turn into something nice. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. ]

It was a cauldron of emotions he felt. Hikaru had no way to explain it, for he'd never experienced this before. The tightness in his chest when she walked by, the anger in his stomach when she flirted easily with others, and the deep longing in his heart when she gave him the knowing-smirk. Haruhi, was just... She was Haruhi, and that was all that could be said on the matter. Love happened in the strangest of times, and the most awkward of places. Always.

_Hey. Who said this was love?_

"Haruhi, go get changed please." Kyouya said by way of greeting. Tamaki meanwhile - the prince with his emotions on his sleeves - leaped up dramatically. "Haruhi my dearest daughter, please put on the lovely outfit for your dearest father." _Again with the family stuff.. doesn't he realize anything..? Tamaki is just Tamaki.. _Hikaru, holding his brother's hand tight, stepped into the host club.

Entertaining the guests, flaunting a brotherly love, a forbidden love, and the girls just lapped it up. Again, he spaced for just a moment, glancing at Haruhi with her golden smile and her bright expression. By chance her large beautiful eyes met his own and a light blush rose on his cheeks, while she just smiled easily. How could a girl as oblivious as Haruhi make his heart race?

After a day full of "twincest" and the occasional inconspicuous jealous glance at Haruhi and the girl's that flocked around her so lovingly, Hikaru and his lovable brother Kaoru made their way out of Music Room #3. Haruhi had already gone earlier, so there wasn't much of a point for Hikaru to dilly dally and wait for a chance to talk to her. Tamaki seemed to have had the same plan, and was just as dissapointed as Hikaru himself, just more verbal about it.

_Oh well, there is always tomorrow, that's our day off anyways! _Hikaru perked at the thought of those precious hours he could try and spend with her, although that was usually what the mischievous twin always hoped for, but as of yet, he still hadn't even gotten the courage to ask her to hang out. _What's the problem!? You went on a "date" with her in Kaoru's stead. Why can't you just ask her now? I bet Kaoru could do it._ A little bit of anger and jealousy flared in the pit of his stomach, like a dragon guarding its treasure. The sweet look in his brother's eye though when Hikaru looked to him settled it right back down. He couldn't do anything but love his precious brother. His other half.

That night he talked little to Kaoru, still pondering about what he should do about Haruhi. The feelings he felt were so strong. And so real. He'd never felt this before, and he couldn't explain it. No one had ever seen the true him, the individual, so he'd always disregarded all the other girls and boys. Haruhi was different, she saw through him, him and Kaoru both. They were seen as something more than "the twins". They were individuals, and one person. She understood them so well, even though they tried to make it difficult. _When someone can understand you so deeply.. is that.. is that what happens? why I feel this_ _way? _

Hikaru turned in bed, looking at Kaoru's sleeping form.. maybe Kaoru was just as worried as Hikaru was. Although why he would be worried? Hikaru had no clue. Guilt bit at Hikaru. Kaoru had tried and failed with Haruhi; she'd turned him down. Yet despite his guilt, jealousy sprung up again, _but not before he kissed her!_ Hikaru closed his eyes, and gradually let sleep take him to a less complicated place. His last thought being _what would it be like to kiss her?_


	2. Day Off

In the morning Hikaru woke to his phone ringing. Very irritably he answered it, "Hello?" Tamaki's obnoxious but lovable voice rang through loudly. At this, Kaoru started to wake up as well.

"You evil mischievous twins."

"Yes boss? What'd we do now?"

"I think we should all go out tod-"

"No. I'm going back to bed."

"B-b-but! -" He was cut off by Kaoru, who took the phone and shut it off. His hair was tousled and a bit messy, but Hikaru couldn't help and think how cute it was. _I wonder who will wake up next to him in the morning when we're older and married? Will they look at his hair and think "how precious"? Will they know every little thing about him like I do?_ Hikaru smiled at the grumpy Kaoru and took that moment to leap out of bed. Kaoru got out in a slower fashion and trudged over to Hikaru. The door to their bedroom sprang open and their two maids came in to clothe the twins. As a bonus, they brought food with them.

"It's a kinda nice day today.. But they said it's going to get rainy later on, so we should get some movies to watch." Kaoru offered, "We could invite Haruhi, or anyone you'd like." He added this with a bit of a smirk, knowing that Hikaru was already wondering whether the invitation extended to her. He replied slowly, "I think that we should invite everyone, or else boss will be questioning our motives." If Kaoru was surprised he didn't show it, but Hikaru certainly was surprised by his own words. _I just turned down potential solo time with Haruhi._

After a phone call to Tamaki, who excitedly accepted and offered to get everyone up, Hikaru hopped inside a limo to pick up Haruhi. He'd found his chance to be alone, and told Tamaki that he would pick up Haruhi and that Tono didn't need to worry about it. Unhappy Tamaki agreed as he hung up. The beautiful, sleek, and expensive black car pulled up next to her house. Nervously Hikaru played with the strings on his pullover hoodie that went well with his black tanktop underneath. His own knock on the apartment door sounded loud and hollow, he felt hollow too right now. _I should have asked Kaoru to come.. what if she is.. I don't know.. unhappy with me?_ A somewhat groggy Haruhi opened the door, and Hikaru couldn't stop the red that appeared in his face. _Why does she have to be so freaking cute? I mean really now. A spaghetti strapped sundress and little cardigan? It's so cute, and she is too._

"What are you doing here Hikaru? Where's Kaoru? He's okay, right?" She asked in her mono-tone no-nonsense voice. A voice that Hikaru loved dearly. He thought it was so cute, and her big brown eyes blinking up at him were too cute as well. He better not freeze up, he can't seem awkward and different around her.

"Yeah, he's fine." He said, feigning a level of calm he did not have. "C'mon, commoner, you're coming to our house." And with that out of the way he started walking down the stairs and toward the car. It took her a second, but she did race after him, somewhat yelling "Hey wait. Hikaru, what the heck are you even talking about?" And then under her breath she muttered, "Stupid rich people."

Hikaru smiled as he opened the door for her, like a proper gentleman and then scooted into the car next to her. His heart raced as her intoxicating smell reached him, and her cute short hair bobbed when she turned her head to him. Big doe eyes that swallowed him whole, they were so cute. She was so freaking cute. It took Hikaru a second to calm himself enough to actually hear what she was saying, yet when he understood it was like a knife to the heart. "Tamaki said you'd be coming by, he's coming too, right?" She blinked innocently at Hikaru, as if she hadn't just lit the fire under a nice pot of all-consuming-jealousy. Hikaru blinked and smirked at her, having decided what to respond with. He stroked her cheek, taking all of his strength not to waver or blush and purred "Oh but wouldn't it be better if it was just you and I? Kaoru could join us too.." He trailed off and winked.

Haruhi's face hadn't changed. _I don't think she even knows what I'm suggesting.._ Hikaru snickered too himself. Haruhi's answer confirmed his though, "Well, I figured he'd join since it's his house, and you invited Tamaki, if you didn't want him to come. Why invite?" She giggled a bit at the absurdity of Hikaru. To her it seemed obvious. "Oh Haruhi, you're just so oblivious." She blinked at him and asked, "Oblivious? What am I being oblivious too?" Her wide eyes made Hikaru laugh, and at the point the car pulled into the long drive way.

"We're here," he said a little deflated that his alone time was over with. Her wide eyes widened more so, and her mouth made a perfect little comical "o" shape. "It's.. so big.." she whispered. Hikaru knew it was big by other people's standards, but it was home. He took advantage of her shock at his house to pat her on the head and give her a quick hug. "Yes, it's so big for you, commoner. C'mon kitten, let's go." He opened the door for her and they wandered into the large house.

When the rest of the host club showed up - excluding Kyoya as he stated it was not a benefit to him to come to this - Haruhi had already been getting used to the fancy surroundings. She was a bit shocked at the grandness of it all, but after a quip where Kaoru pointed out her dazed expression, she continued to look dead-pan serious.

"Haaaruhiiiii~" Called Hikaru from a rather luxurious living room, "We got you some fancy tuna." He was teasing her, and she knew it, but even so, she did like food. Fancy tuna as well. Putting her pride aside for the sake of food, she trotted into the room and sat onto the couch. Hikaru handed her a plate he'd put snacks on himself just for her. "T-thank you, Hikaru!" She smiled and giggled lightly, genuinely pleased and surprised. Hikaru blinked in pleasure while on the inside he burned up. _She's just so cute._ Kaoru led the rest of the club in and they began their small talk - Haruhi immediately being swept away with Tamaki's antics.

_This feeling.. is so.. strong.._ Hikaru thought as he clenched his jaw, watching as Tamaki pointed between Haruhi and Hikaru, probably accusing her of disobeying his orders. She simply laughed and in a no-nonsense tone told him off. _She's so good at handling him, ha, just like she's good at handling her dad._ It was a bit ironic how similar Tamaki and Haruhi's father were. Hikaru continued to ponder, and let himself get lost to his own thoughts while the rest participated in group chat. Kaoru though, broke away to sit next to his brother.

With an impish grin, Kaoru whispered, "Haruhi keeps looking over at you, she probably doesn't think anyone would notice, but I did." At this Hikaru blushed slightly and glanced at Haruhi. "Why don't you come join us? They want to go walk around the gardens.. this.. could.. be your chance." Kaoru finished, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Yeah, okay, let's do it then." Hikaru agreed, already forming a plan in his mind.

Tamaki started counting as he faced a tree, his eyes covered by his long delicate fingers. "4... 5... 6..." He had suggested another "commoner's game" to play in the garden as "it was a perfect day to run about" and "we musn't waste this beautiful sunshine". As usual Honey was fine to play, Mori followed anything Honey said okay to, and this worked in favor of Hikaru's plan so it was a yes from him and Kaoru too. "15.. 16.. 17.. 18.." Hikaru grabbed a bored-looking Haruhi's hand and started to run, causing her to squeak in surprise. He ignored the flush feeling on his face at that cute noise and continued to pull her along behind him. "19.. 20.. 21.." Tamaki continued on.

"Shh! Haruhi, c'mere, I know a good place to hide." Hikaru whispered back to her as he entered the maze-like hedge area. She just nodded and trotted along behind him. Finally he abruptly stopped and pulled her into a small alcove, sitting her on the bench next to him. He tried to ignore the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach, and the sudden nervousness that plagued him.

"Boss always loves playing these games. It's so silly, but I can't say I mind all that much." Hikaru started, trying to make conversation.

Haruhi snorted, "I don't mind, but it's kind of sweet in a way. Or childish. Whichever way you look at it." She gave a noncommittal shrug and smiled at Hikaru, "Did you ever play games like this when you were little?"

He fidgeted, working to calm his nerves and keeping himself from blushing like an idiot. "U-uhm, I can't say we did. Kaoru and I didn't really have anyone to play this with.."

"Oh, yeah I suppose that's true!" Haruhi blinked, and moved a bit closer to him.

"W-what.. are you doing?" Hikaru asked stunned and a little bit more than pleased. His face reddened even more as she moved closer yet again and pushed him down. She put a finger to her lips and crouched down next to him, hiding behind the stone bench they'd been sitting on. "Oh shut up Hikaru, we're just hiding, sorry for not saying anything." She whispered flatly. "I-it's fine, I don't mind." He said as calmly as possible, even though on the inside he was freaking out. His heart fluttered and he just stared at the back of her head while she looked around the corner of the hedge.

"I think we're fine now! He walked right by us!" She giggled and stood up, smoothing out her shirt as she did. Briefly she looked up at the sky as more clouds gathered and dotted the previously perfectly blue sky. A bit more worried now, she whispered, "I.. I hope we end this game soon.. it looks like it might get rainy." Hikaru, feeling protective, stood and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay, I'll keep you safe." He mumbled into her hair.

Surprised Haruhi squeaked and her face grew red. "W-we should go b-back. I think I heard them whistle f-for the winners.. so.. that'd be us.." She stumbled over her words, trying to regain her composure. It was unlike Hikaru to be so sensitive like that; it pleased and embarrassed her. All she could think was how it felt to have his arms wrapped around her, and she wasn't even sure why she was thinking that. _You're acting like an idiot. Hikaru is your friend. Nothing more.._ She wasn't sure why she needed to tell herself that, but she tried to keep focusing on that thought as the two walked back to the others. She couldn't even take in all the sights of the beautiful trees, flowers, ponds, and hedges that grew and were trimmed to perfection.

The rest of the day went smoothly as well, Haruhi and Hikaru, both red and awkward caught up with the rest of the club as they went inside to their theater room. It was a comfortable place with many nice seats, cushions, and couches. On the far wall was a huge screen, and on any windows thick red shades blocked out unwelcome light. It was a perfect home theater. Haruhi sat down, snuggling a pillow on her lap, and Hikaru sat nearby, whispering in her ear quickly that "the curtains will muffle any sound from a storm.. just so you know.. and the walls are thick so that sound from the movie won't affect the house.. also meaning sound from anything else shouldn't bother the movie.." He moved a bit closer and wrapped his arm around her despite his nerves, "you're safe."

Later, as everyone said their goodbyes after a marathon of movies, Haruhi gave Hikaru a quick and embarrassed hug, much to her own surprise and his. She then quickly fled the house, leaving a stunned Hikaru and Kaoru. Kaoru, first to recover, patted his brother on the back and grinned. "I think next time, you should ask her on a date."

"N-next time. I think I will."


	3. Supposed Confessions

Haruhi sat quietly in the library, ignoring as best as possible the loud and obnoxious students that gathered there. She gritted her teeth, whether in irritation at the students, or the particularly difficult equation she was working on was unknown. It was a Friday afternoon, almost a week since the movie marathon at the twin's house. Even though the girl would act cold, she did have a good time there.. Although her situation with Hikaru was a little awkward on Monday. She wasn't quite positive why she kept thinking of him all the time. They were just friends. Right? Riiight? But sadly, she couldn't say that honestly since she just had no idea.

Haruhi shook her head, the short brown locks tickling her ears. She glanced at the clock across the room and sighed. The poor girl hadn't had a chance to get much studying done, "it's time to host anyways.. Dang rich people.. How do they even pass?" Haruhi muttered as she gathered her things.

Hikaru arrived early, with Kaoru in tow. They were whispering furiously together, but stopped their intense discussion as Tamaki and Kyouya arrived. Honey, Mori, and Haruhi came just after. When the guests started to pour in the hosts began their grand act.

And it felt that as soon as it started it ended; the glamour faded, and the hosts turned back into themselves. They were not grand, and elegant; they were only teenage boys - albeit rich teenage boys - having fun. It was moments like these, when a rare smile escaped Kyouya's lips, a stoic Mori had a certain light behind his eyes, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Haruhi felt it in these moments. A deep pang in the middle of her gut, a heaviness in her heart - not one of sadness, but rather one filled with glee, a pleasant pressure on her chest. The pressure turned into a burning sensation when she looked at Hikaru's face. She couldn't explain these emotions that battled inside her. She wasn't sure about any of it.

Tamaki sought out her attention and Haruhi blinked at him, regaining herself and her surroundings that had been previously lost to her musings. He really was similar to her father in some ways. Both of them being eccentric to a point, and hyper-active. They flailed and danced about in Haruhi's life and brought joy to her. Tamaki was an idiot, but he was a good person and a good friend. After years of dealing with her hyped up father, Haruhi had no trouble dealing with Tamaki's antics as well. Yet, as similar as her father and Tamaki were... "Haaaaruhiiiiiii! Your daddy wants you to wear this outfit nowwwww!" He called out, interrupting her thought. Yep, as similar as they were, Tamaki would never be considered a father to her. Perhaps the jester in some cases.

Shortly, she replied "You're not my dad, and it's late now, I've really got to get going home." In an instant though she felt weight on both of her shoulders. Hikaru and Kaoru leaned into her, their elbows resting easily on her slight shoulders. "Awww, Haruhi is so cute and little," the two chanted together, "Do you really have to go?" Hikaru asked.

As usual, with this small provocation Tamaki went spouting off about harrassment and general nonsense centering around the twin's evil motives. Haruhi took this moment to say her goodbye's to the rest of the club and leave. She walked slowly though, almost regretting it. Why did she feel regret? Why did it matter? Most importantly, why had she been so nervous around Hikaru? She was confused. There was a throbbing in her chest, and when she slowly touched her own cheek the girl realized her face was hot. Quickly she glanced at her reflection in one of the wide windows that lined the halls of Ouran and saw a subtle blush in her pale face.

_What is this? Why is my heart racing? Why.. why is it so confusing?_ She had to find out. She had to know why.

Haruhi thought over the past week as she wandered aimlessly down the hall. She didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind her as she was so lost in thought. It had been a strange week. She'd felt awkward around Hikaru. She couldn't look him in the eye. She couldn't breath around him. His voice.. she could hear it instantly in a crowd. She would find herself looking at him during the hosting times. Haruhi.. was unsure why these things were happening. What changed the tension between them? _Since I went to their house.. I've been so nervous around him.. Is it possible.. for things to change so fast?_ Haruhi had been so confused about these ideas she'd thought she was just sick. She felt fine though, no fever, no runny nose, no cough. She wasn't sick, her father had already confirmed that.

On Tuesday, when these feelings had persisted, the heart palpitations, and nervous feeling, the heaviness in her stomach and heart, Haruhi had called Mei and asked. It was that day in which Mei suggested the impossible.. the improbable.. Mei had said the word. _Love?_

Suddenly Haruhi was drawn out of her thoughts as Hikaru tapped her shoulder. The startled girl whipped around to face him. "H-hikaru?" She stuttered. "Speak of the devil," the girl muttered irritably under her breath.

"Haruhi? You looked worried about s-something when you left.. and so I.. I uh came to check on you." He scratched the back of his head, a smile lazily put on his face. He was loosing his cool, and regretted going out to find her. _Ah well, I.. I think I should just.. go through with it.._ But when he looked down on her he realized she wasn't meeting his eyes. She was studying her shoes intently and he could see a little tremble in her body. With worry he asked, "Haruhi, oh no, are you okay?"

He grabbed her hand, and lifted her chin so their faces were only inches apart.

_Ohmygosh_ she thought, _it can't be.. there's no way I love him. It's.. It's only.. respect?_ "Hikaru.." she swallowed, "Do people fall in love so suddenly?" She'd asked the same question of Mei, yet the answer was an unsatisfactory no. That didn't make sense to Haruhi though, she'd never felt anything for any of the host club members. Respect. She felt respect for Hikaru, and that was all, right? The conflicting emotions swirled inside her. She felt as though she was about to burst, and when she met his eyes she couldn't handle it. Right then and there she turned and started to run.

The blush on his face was evident. He was so surprised by the question. _When had he started to fall in love with her? Count the ways.. she was.. so perfect. _He stumbled through his thoughts, tripping his way to the beginning. _She entered the host club. They were all surprised. It was a boy. A boy. _He remember this, he also remember how foolish they were. _Not a boy, she pushed them out of the changing room and it was then that we knew. A girl. A female host. _But that's not when the feelings started. _"That's Hikaru and that's Kaoru" she said. I was genuinely shocked. How did that happen? No one knew.. We had to know how she knew.. was it luck?_ But that was only the beginning, how did it turn to this? _From the moment she knew I was always entranced. Before she was just a cute little toy, and we teased her to tease the boss. But now? I couldn't recognize it, could I? She was... so beautiful. I was.. in love. From the moment she entered my world, I was smitten. I was hers. I was a gonner. I was in love._

Yet there she was, running away. "Haruhi, wait!" Hikaru did the only thing he could think of, and chased after her. "Haruhi," he yelled, "I think... I think that it d-doesn't happen suddenly." This got a reaction from her, as she stumbled and paused. They were panting now, tired from running through the school, down the stairs, and out under the afternoon-sky in the lovely ground of Ouran. "Haruhi... love doesn't happen suddenly. It builds and builds... Until one day you realize it, or accept it. That you love someone." He stumbled over his words. He was so nervous, and for what? Nothing. He wasn't saying anything profound. He was... just saying what he thought. Yet, the look on her face worried him.

There was something soft in her eyes, and a sort of understanding. _Is she in love with someone? If so.. who?_

"H-hikaru.." the girl said softly, "I.. I think that.."

"I like you, Haruhi." The boy interrupted. "I like you." He repeated, his hands shaking, heart pounding, and mind doing flips. He'd finally said something. Not exactly what he wanted to, but it was.. something.


	4. Is This Real

_I regret this decision. I regret this decision immediately._

She stared at me blankly. She didn't even blink once. So... I did what any brave soul would do in the face of an imminent and predictable rejection... I ran.

Kaoru looked at me worriedly as I came home. I hadn't spoken at all during the car ride, and I hadn't talked even during our dinner. We were so close, and yet, this was something I didn't want to say. If I'd said it out loud the rejection would become official. It'd make it so much more official.

As Hikaru stressed about what happened, Haruhi was equally as flustered and worried.

"What did he mean?" She said irritably. "And why do I even care so much!?" As she paced around her room she thought on everything her friend Mei had told her. Everything Mei had speculated at, had teased Haru about, and talked to Haruhi about. With exasperation she flopped onto her small bed wishing she could scream in frustration. She felt so... so happy, but so worried and so panicked. She couldn't enjoy the words because she was too busy puzzling out what they meant. _I like you too, Hikaru. We've always been friends, so why wouldn't I? Why is this confusing to me? He's my friend. I like him because he's my friend. I respect him... But that doesn't explain the feelings I get around him._

When she was near him her heart raced wildly, her stomach felt queasy, yet she felt inexplicably light. His voice gave her shivers, his wide yet mischievous eyes made her smile, and when he said her name she couldn't help but blush. _Do I feel that way for Tamaki or Kyoya? What about Kaoru? Hani? Or Mori?_ When it came down to it, no, she did not have those reactions to any of the other host club members. She didn't have those sorts of reactions for any other boy in general. Why Hikaru then? The confused brunette sighed once more, and pushed away the confusing thoughts.

Yet she couldn't help but smile as she thought of him. "I like you..." She whispered, "And I think Mei might just be right..."

Hikaru had the most trouble sleeping he'd had in a long few nights. Kaoru slept fitfully as well, in worry for his brother. Finally, after hours of silence, Hikaru whispered sheepishly, "I told Haruhi I liked her, but I didn't say it how I wished I would have... and I didn't get a response."

Kaoru's heart stopped for a moment before he smirked. They lay near each other, not touching but close enough any way. "I think that's good you told her, but when you came over to me... you seemed like you'd ran... did you even give her time to GET a response?" If he knew Hikaru...

"No..." Hikaru replied slowly.

It was as Kaoru thought. "Well, just... don't worry. I know it seems worrisome right now, but maybe tomorrow will surprise you. No use wasting precious sleeping time now though. Go to sleep Hika... It'll feel better tomorrow." The silence was answer enough, Hikaru had heard and seen the logic of Kaoru's words. It'd be better to sleep now, think tomorrow... And well, who knows?

The drive to school was a long one, yet somehow, it was far too short. Homeroom was even worse. He sat next to Haruhi, and although they'd said hello the awkwardness was very tangible. He couldn't speak properly near her, and she seemed nearly as bad. Kaoru couldn't handle it. This sort of tension had to stop, and stop now. At break, he told Hikaru to confront her. Easier said than done, Hikaru scoffed, yet he agreed in any case.

The class filed out, chatting happily, yet Haruhi stayed in her seat as she dug around her bag for her lunch, and Hikaru watched her quietly. His thoughts bounced about like frightened rabbits, and he couldn't keep up with each new idea and worry that came and went. Finally, she met his eyes.

"Are you alright?" The doe-eyed girl asked so innocently, the concern obvious in her tone. It was enough to break Hikaru out of his trance, and it gave him the courage to do what he wanted to. Although it may not have been what either of them were expecting, neither of them minded either. In fact, maybe it was better this way. When both people were so scared to say what was on their mind, maybe... well maybe showing it... rather than saying it would be easier.

His lips met her briefly and as he moved away, ready to leave, she grabbed his arm. He couldn't meet her eyes, yet neither could she. In silence he stood there, not moving away yet not moving closer. And Haruhi sat in her chair, not meeting his eyes, not saying a word. The silence stretched out between them, until it was nearly unbearable.

They both broke out at once, Hikaru exclaiming, "I'm sorry-" yet he stopped abrubtly as he registered what Haruhi had whispered. Blushing, Haruhi repeated herself, "Is this real?" She paused, unsure of how to phrase it, but after a moment of hesitation plowed on anyway. "Do you really mean it? Hikaru... I'll say it, to be fair... Hikaru, I li-" She was cut short by his look of disbelief. "Hikaru?" Haruhi asked, now equal parts worried and flustered.

Finally he whispered, "I love you, Haruhi."


	5. The Fear

The words pierced through her skin despite being mere whispers, and she could not help but blush a deeper and darker shade each step she took. This was beyond her capabilities as a person, how did others manage this sort of thing so well? Her oblivious nature had caused her to be blind to the true meaning of other's affections, but her oblivious and normally indifferent personality did not help to hide her pure joy and thorough embarrassment. _Why did I decide this was a good idea?_ The girl could not fathom this bubbly feeling she felt anymore than she could comprehend the pointed stares and shocked whispers.

She was Haruhi regardless of whether she was a girl _or_ a boy. Someone's gender didn't make a difference, but who they were did. _Why're they all staring?_ He gripped her small hand tighter and seemed to lean just a little bit closer. "It's because you're just _too_ cute to handle. That's why they are all staring at you." His voice contained traces of a smirk Haruhi was too embarrassed to look up and see, but there was just a little bit of a tremble in his smooth voice that conveyed his nervousness. Despite all his acts with his brother, and the plays through as though Haruhi was only a toy, Hikaru was a novice when it came to this sort of feeling. He didn't know how to show his true feelings, and these things he felt overwhelmed him.

They walked on though with Haruhi's small hand in his large protective grasp. A deep blush across both of their faces, but a shining happiness in their eyes. They looked for all the world like they were about to keel over from either happiness or embarrassment and death's judge couldn't decide which to choose.

They were new to this and although gossip was running rampant through the school about the new couple that was the dearest Haruhi and Hikaru, they stayed the rest of the school day without being questioned. It wasn't until later they realized that most questions were directed to Kaoru and he was a very good buffer. It turned out most of them knew Hikaru liked Haruhi, but it was a surprise to them Haruhi felt the same. Regardless of their surprise, they still did not know Haruhi's true gender. Hikaru and Haruhi had been puzzling about this and they were unsure of whether to tell everyone. In the end they'd decided to hold off on telling the school until after they got the host club's input.

"Together?" She asked meekly, "Together," he answered with more bravo than he actually felt. It struck him as odd that he'd first opened these doors with his brother, and now he was with the love of his life all because of the host club. Although he never wanted this club in the beginning Hikaru couldn't imagine a different place to be. He'd never have met Haruhi... He'd never have met the one person who knew Hikaru and Kaoru as well as they knew themselves.

The club took it as gracefully as expected. They each held their own disappointment and their own jealousies upon seeing and hearing the news. Haruhi was no longer _their_ Haruhi, but solely _his_. Tamaki didn't protest very much, despite looking rather put out, and the rest of the club took their cue from him and went on as if everything was normal.

"Can I take you home, Haruhi?" Hikaru asked his usually mischievous face covered in a bashful shyness. She smiled brightly up at him and nodded, but broke out with her serious tone, "We are not riding home in one of your stupid rich people vehicles. You can take me home, but let's walk." She raised an eyebrow, waiting for the inevitable protest yet none came as he just nodded and took her hand to leave.

This just felt right. His hand in hers, and hers in his. It felt right walking next to her, listening to her stories, her giggle, and seeing her bright smile. Suddenly he stopped walking and she paused to look at him quizzically. "Haruhi, I... I really like you." Again, he couldn't say it. He couldn't say it at all. It was ridiculous that three words were so hard to say, plus it wasn't like this would be the first time he said such things! Yet despite the overwhelming love he felt he still felt troubled and nervous when the thought of expressing it came. She smiled though, as if in understanding, and he gently leaned down to her. Their lips met in a brief kiss before they resumed walking. All too soon she was home and he was on his way to his own.

Everything was perfect right now and right in this moment, but perfect is a fragile thing that will not always last. The fear was there ready to take control.

The next week flew by and soon the weekend was upon them. The cute couple had ridden out the school's gossip and by the end of the week it had died down. Their costumers in the host club however where very interested in the two which resulted in an influx of new girls. Even Kyouya couldn't argue with the results.

"Hey Haruhi~?" Hikaru sang as he walked over.

"Mm?" Was the indifferent reply from the girl who was very concentrated as she worked on her studies. He layed a hand across her paper, effectively blocking her view. "Let's go on a date tomorrow. Mmkay? I'll pick you up in the morning." His voice was even and his hands did not shake with their normal nervousness whenever he was speaking to her, but the blush was firmly set in his face.

"Okay okay, that sounds nice, can I get back to work now?" She casually brushed off his hand and continued her furious scribbling of notes. Hikaru in turn flopped across the table and watched her from the corner of his eye. "Awww Haruhi, pay some attention to me. I am your.." he paused, a little embarrassed, but with a glint in his eye he continued, "I am your b-boyfriend. Shouldn't you give me a little love? Leaving me here to die, starved for attention." He dramatically made actions as though he was faint. "Oh, cruel fate. To be so alone even in other's company."

"You sound like Tamaki." She said blithely, continuing her work. After a moment's pause though she couldn't help but smile and looked up at him, "Hey? You know what..?" She swallowed then continued, "Let's have a picnic for our date and go to the park. Let's just hang out like that. Later we could go to your house and hang out with Kaoru too, I wouldn't want to leave him alone for too long." Soon she was consumed by a rough hug from the happy red-head.

"Then it's a date!" He shouted happily as she started to pack up to leave.


	6. A Little Lost

"Why am I so excited for this? You're being ridiculous, Haruhi! It took you forever to figure out your feelings, and now that you know them you're this nervous? I bet he's not even this nervous, I bet he's way better than I am at controlling his feelings." She muttered to herself. Today she'd decided to dress up in one of the many dresses her father continually begged for her to wear. It was a light blue sundress and Haruhi had to try hard not to feel embarrassed. "I never used to care to dress up, but dad did say that I should wear this... he said Hikaru would be overjoyed.." She sighed. These were confusing feelings.

She was new to this sort of feeling and could not fully comprehend the blush the flew onto her face when she though of him, nor the clamminess of her small hands, and not even the pounding of her heart. This was too much, all of these feelings were too much. Haruhi was drowning in this sickly warm feeling, the pressure on her heart was too much. She wanted him to come here right now, and she wanted him to grab her hand and smile shyly like he did just for her. She wanted his gentle gaze and she wanted to try and fluster him as Kyouya had suggested once. He was always making her flustered with his sweet yet clumsy words. She'd discovered she had the very same power.

A knock at the door caused her to jump. "Well speak of the devil." Somewhat awkwardly she trotted over to the door and opened it. To her surprise and mild disappointment though, it was not Hikaru. "H-hello? Can I help you?"

"Uhm, well I was wondering if you knew where the store was from here? I'm kinda new in town and I'm pretty lousy with directions, so uh, I'm a little lost." It was a boy who appeared to be her age, or maybe a little older. He had a Mori-like build but perhaps just a centimeter or two shorter. Regardless he was a quite imposing figure. He had brown hair similar to her own short locks, yet hazel eyes that contained just a little too much green to be purely brown. Gingerly she nodded and launched into a description of what directions to follow and how many blocks to go down before he would reach the store.

Little did she notice the car that pulled up, nor the red-head that came out of it with a confused expression on his face as he took in the scene. From his own perspective it looked like Haruhi was animatedly talking to this stranger that also looked like he was far too interested in Haruhi for his own good. Hikaru wasn't quite sure what to do, and what he chose to do was probably the least productive. He marched up there with a glare set into his features. "Excuse me." He said coldly, "We need to go somewhere."

Haruhi looked at him with irritation and pointedly ignoring him finished her direction giving. The other boy smiled, bowed slightly, "Thanks for the help, my name is Tsukune. I live about two doors down. I'm sorry for delaying you two." And with that he left.

"Hikaru! You didn't need to be so rude! I was giving him directions and that was quite childish of you." She reprimanded. Quickly she turned and went into her house without waiting for a response. Hikaru quietly fumed but didn't say anything as he watched her. Slowly he let the anger die down and it was replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling. _I love you Haruhi, I just... get jealous sometimes._

Silently they left hand in hand and Hikaru carrying the picnic basket Haruhi had prepared. It was awkward and quiet for a little bit before Haruhi gently squeezed his hand. He returned the gesture and soon they were talking animatedly and happily. The little dark spot in their date fading away fast.

The day was bright and beautiful and Haruhi couldn't stop the pounding in her chest. She wondered how long it would be before she got used to calling Hikaru her boyfriend or until she got used to their back and forth of "I like you," "I like you too," "I like you most." It was so cheesy and stupid, and although it was said somewhat jokingly the words rang true for both parties. Normally though their conversations were of Kaoru or Hikaru as he told her the stories of their childhood. She would interject every once in a while with a cutting comment about the fact that they were and still are little devils and Hikaru would burst out laughing. She was so blunt but Hikaru knew it wasn't her intent to hurt, and he was perfectly happy to hear what she thought.

"Hey, Haruhi, do you remember Karuizawa?" He paused for a moment, seemingly lost in his thoughts before at Haruhi's questioning gaze he continued on, "Oh I just mean, well, there is an ice cream vendor. I'll go get us some, okay?"

"Mm, okay!" She smiled and as Hikaru walked over to the vendor she moved to a nearby park bench to sit. The basket lay next to her. Casually she kicked her feet back and forth watching from the corner of her eye Hikaru wait in the short line that had formed, and observed everything else as well. It took her a minute and a quiet cough to realize someone was standing in front her. She blinked rapidly, a blush crawling across her face. "I'm sorry," she stood up to be on equal footing. She didn't like him leering over her like that.

"I'm sorry I just didn't even realize you where there! Tsukune, right?"

He nodded sheepishly, "I just saw you over here by yourself and wanted to say hi. I never quite got your name?"

"Haruhi Fujioka." She replied promptly with a gentle smile that always caused Hikaru's heart to leap. For whatever reason the boy's face grew mildly pink as he took in her cute appearance and wide doe-like eyes. "Well, Fujioka, it's nice to meet you, I'm Tsukune Suzuki, but go ahead and call me Tsukune."

"Ah okay, well go ahead and use Haruhi then. We're about the same age, right? I guess there is no need to be overly formal. I suppose since we live so close together we'll be seeing a lot of each other." Again that innocent and beautiful smile took hold. "Very nice to meet you!"

"And you too," he looked around for a moment, "Why're you here by yourself?"

"Oh, I'm with someone, but they just went off to get some snacks, he should've been back soon..." Curious, Haruhi peered around the large Tsukune to see Hikaru on his way back with two ice creams in tow. The expression on his face however was nothing like the gentle and shy looks he often shared with Haruhi. It was cold to see and it gave Haruhi a bad feeling. She recognized that look, it was the same look he'd given to Arai before they'd made up. She hoped he could keep his cool though.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Hikaru spoke and the irritation was obvious.

"I'm keeping a pretty girl company since someone left her alone." Tsukune retorted without pause, after a moment though he interrupted Hikaru's next speech with, "Look, I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm new around here and it was very nice to see a familiar face. Let's start over, okay?"

"Why would I want to '_start over_' with you?" Hikaru sneered, "I don't need you, and Haruhi certainly doesn't eith-"

"Hey! Hikaru stop this! You are so childish sometimes it is ridiculous." She interjected, "Don't just suddenly decide things for me! Tsukune, I'm sorry but I think we've got to go. It was nice to speak with you again."

With a furious expression on her face she dragged Hikaru and marched away. "You're ridiculous. Why do you always get so hyped up whenever I talk to anyone? You did this before we even confessed and dated!" She sighed.

"It's because you just allow people to get too close to you! What are you thinking talking to some random guy?" He spit back, clearly jealous. The thing about jealousy though is it is a blinder. Jealousy is a confusing emotion. Although you dearly hate the people who talk to your love, you also begin to feel anger toward your love for even _thinking_ it was alright to talk to them. This feeling was uncomfortable and burning. Hikaru did not like the heaviness he felt, nor the fact that he just wanted to hit something. Haruhi in the meantime was equally angry, not due to jealousy's vicious grip but rather because Hikaru was being completely unreasonable. Haruhi was her own person and she did not accept nor like the idea of being _owned_ by someone.

All traces of mutual love were burried under a sort of blinding irritation that turned into anger. "You're... You're such a child sometimes." She muttered, "he's new to town and I was helping him out, is that so wrong?"

"I'm the child!?" Hikaru seethed, "this is ridiculous Haruhi, you can't go flirting with every guy you see."

The remark was met with silence. Haruhi blinked at him quietly before turning to walk away. "I'm sorry, I cannot speak to you right now. This whole fight was ridiculous and... and childish. You should apologize to him."

"Apologize? Are you crazy? I didn't think you'd be so stupid as to think this was my fault." Hikaru spat at her. Again silence met his words and inside Hikaru felt cold. This was not what he wanted to say. He did not mean those words. He never meant to say something like that. _Why did I say that? Why did I say any of this?_ He watched her retreating form helplessly. His pride and shame kept him from running out to her and scooping her into his arms. They kept him from moving out and kissing her roughly. They kept him from apologizing and begging for forgiveness. _I'm too childish... I'm too quick to make judgements. I just... I just wanted her to be mine._

He sighed, the defeat making itself obvious in his tired eyes and slightly broken posture. He glanced at the basket she left on the park bench and quietly opened it. "Figures," he muttered, "Figures Haruhi would make my favourite foods. Figures she would make practical foods for picnics, yet make them to suit my tastes... Figures she'd be just perfect as... as always."

Bitterly he took a small bite of the food she prepared and closed his eyes, imagining that their date hadn't gone sour and that everything wouldn't feel bland but rather it would be bright and beautiful. That everything would be vibrant and gorgeous just like Haruhi was. With her by him he felt complete. He didn't feel twisted or broken like he did by himself. Kaoru had been that support for him, and Hikaru had been Kaoru's lifeline as well, but they only grew more twisted and alone as they held to each other. Haruhi had saved them both. Of course the host club started the process, but Haruhi was the real reason they were okay now. The real reason that Hikaru and Kaoru could trully become their own persons.

Hikaru owed so much to Haruhi and her kindness. The coldness he felt right now was because of her absence, it was because of the words he'd said, and it was because of the jealousy that still burned in the back of his throat. He'd insulted the one girl he'd probably ever find room in his heart to love by first questioning her faithfulness by way of becoming blinded by his doubts and jealousies concerning Tsukune, but he'd also hurt her in a way he didn't know he was capable of. Never before had he ever said anything spiteful to Haruhi. Haruhi was strong, but Haruhi had also opened herself up to him and made it possible for him to hurt her in a way that the other club members couldn't quite do.

"How can I face her right now? How can... I make it up to her?" He looked up for answers written in the sky then down into his lap tears blurring his vision, "I'm so stupid. How could I let such a small thing become so huge? I'm ridiculous. This is ridiculous. I'm... a little lost."


	7. I'm Uhm Yeah

"Oh." He ran his hands through his hair with exasperation. "You are an _idiot_, Hikaru! An absolute mess! You let this tiny insignificant thing blow up! What even _was_ that back there!?" He began to berate himself, the expression on his face filled with misery. Hikaru was a jealousy and love-blinded fool who wore his emotions on his sleeve. Despite his best attempts he was still clumsy with his emotions and although Haruhi was mature and strong in her own way she also could not help the way her feelings had errupted.

She normally did not lose her temper like that and it was over a silly thing. She probably could have found a better way to please both people and smooth their way over that without the overly dramatic fight. "He's such... such a drama queen though..." Haruhi sat down on her bed with her head hung low. A deep sigh escaped, "We hadn't even been together for that long before we got into a fight. Is that how our relationship will be?" What good was a relationship if the people who partook in it got no happiness? She didn't think they'd be a good couple if they couldn't even go on a date without being childish. Little did the girl notice her eyes that brimmed with tears at the thought of a doomed relationship. She wasn't sure she liked the ability Hikaru had to make her feel so pathetic. This was a simple lover's spat and yet she felt like she was losing the last ray of sunshine she had.

"I don't want to apologize... because I wasn't wrong, but... I don't think Hikaru will... apologize."

"Hikaru, you alright?" A familiar voice peeked at the edges of Hikaru's distracted mind, it took another prompting and a slight tap on the shoulder before Hikaru registered fully another's presence. "H-hey Kaoru. You're home earlier than I thought you'd be, did... d-did, uh, Kyoya like the costume designs?"

"Yeah, 'course he did. _We_ made them ourselves, how could he not? The event for the club'll go great next month." A frown flashed across Kaoru's face as he scrutinized his flustered looking brother, "Hikaru, it doesn't take a genius to see you're upset..." He paused, "Is Haruhi alright?"

Just the mention of her name made Hikaru groan. Hikaru slumped down to sit on the floor with his head in his hands, "I'm a complete and utter moron."

"Well, there is nothing new there, so I can't disagree, you do happen to be mildly idiotic, blind, and a bit of a dolt." Kaoru replied smoothly.

"Gee, thanks." Hikaru cracked a smile at Kaoru's silly jabs, "But really, I got into a _really_ stupid fight with Haruhi on our first date. It was a mess. There was a guy and well... I... I uh-"

"You got jealous again? Hikaru, I can't say I blame you, I mean I know Haruhi is pretty cute and that means competition, but..." Kaoru lifted an eyebrow, "Haruhi told you her feelings and you completely ignored that by letting your jealousies get to you. You're supposed to trust her, aren't you? So you should... trust her not to flounce of to some other guy."

"I mean, this is _Haruhi_ we're talking about. She wouldn't know flirting if it slapped her upside the head and bricked her in the face... just sayin" At the last statement Hikaru nodded sheepishly before speaking, "You're... you're right... When did you become such a brilliant relationship-dude?"

"Relationship-dude?" Kaoru asked raising his eyebrow.

"You make it hard to compliment you. In any case though, I mean _seriously_, I messed up... Wha... what do I do?"

The response was quick, "Apologize," and it was exactly what Hikaru did not want to hear. Again the fire of jealousy flared up yet keeping Kaoru's words in mind Hikaru calmed himself. It wouldn't do for him to get so upset over such a small thing. He had to do something to make it up to Haruhi, and he had to show he trusted her. Kaoru was right.

"Alright, well I guess if I have to, I have to. Besides, it... it's making me sick to be like this," Hikaru mumbled.

"Eh? Be like...?" Kaoru prompted.

"_I really love her... it is almost..._" Hikaru continued mumbling, "_it is almost painful to love someone so much._"

"Fix it then, don't let this be the reason."

"I won't say it until he does, I cannot... He was out of line... So was I, but... honestly..." The small brunette mumbled to herself as she mussed up her hair. She normally didn't bother with those sorts of things, but it seemed to be on the verge of becoming a bird's nesting place rather than a mop of short hair. It was time for school, yet Haruhi who normally was so eager for the opportunities she gained from school was dragging her feet with reluctance. _Hikaru._ She did not know what awaited her at the prestigious academy and frankly, she did not care to find out, not if it meant more hurt hearts.

Finally she arrived though, having taken a leisurely train ride and walk to get there. The lush lawns and pearly gates were as shinning and beautiful as ever but they did not match up to Haruhi's falling hopes. Normally one of the host would have swung by her appartment to pick her up despite her protests, but since she and Hikaru had started dating it was Hikaru who normally came to get her. This morning though no one showed. It was nice to get the fresh air but it hurt all the more to see the empty street from her window.

Now she was here though, so she might as well get to class. Haruhi smiled at the few girls who waved to her, but the light from her grin did not reach her worried eyes. Relationships were awful, the petite girl concluded. Never had she thought that she would be so turned around by one person. _Is this how mom was when she met dad? _Haruhi wondered briefly.

"This has to stop, I cannot keep being... being... so hopeless!" She whispered vehemently. With one last sigh, she tightened her delicate hands into fists and wandered up to class.

"I can't believe we're so late! Oh, Haruhi is going to hate me even more, Kaoru!" Hikaru threw himself into the backseat of his over luxurious car. It was all Kaoru could do not to laugh just because of his lovely brother's disheveled appearance. "Honestly now, you're a mess. Just go up to her and apologize for not picking her up... you can even blame it on me rather than admit you were too busy trying to do your hair..." Kaoru said with a smirk.

"Y-yeah..."


	8. Taking a Step

Class was a quiet affair, Haruhi had gotten there on time and the twins had arrived late This was unusual since the three seemed to never be parted as of late. The twin's late arrival did however allow for some of the girls to pester Haruhi with questions either about the twins, or Haruhi herself. Worry made it difficult to maintain a sociable and happy exterior, but the natural rookie worked her magic regardless. Light seeped in through the large ornate windows and warmed her cold hands. The class dragged on, the time crawling on by but never seeming to come to a close. Perhaps it was because Hikaru did not bother Haruhi a lot, other than that he slipped a folded piece of paper into her notebook. It was almost lonely, and curiosity was killing her about the paper. She wanted to open it; she also felt dread at what it could contain.

Kaoru on the other hand seemed somewhat relaxed during the whole class, as he took notes quietly. It was almost nice if it wasn't so eerie. Not one to let this chance get by despite the circumstances, she took advantage of it, settling to do her schoolwork and take studious notes as always. Her neat handwriting filled the page, but she wasn't able to focus on the lesson completely and mostly went by writing down whatever she was hearing. It was hard to admit, not that she ever would, but she did miss the little quirks and irritation of being continually pestered by the two. Class just felt bland with how things were.

The hours went on as such until lunch came by. Most students left immediately, although some stayed behind only for a moment to ask each other or Haruhi about the notes and what was important to remember. Hikaru meanwhile shuffled papers around nervously. He hadn't made a movement to leave yet or attempted to pack up as he waited for the room to clear. Kaoru made his not-so-subtle exit and then it was down to two.

Haruhi laid her now packed bag carefully on her desk before looking expectantly at Hikaru. It was unusual for him to be so silent. What she saw surprised her though. He wasn't watching her or acting impatient like he might normally, but rather he was pushing papers around his desk with an air of futility. A quiet sigh escaped her lips as she slid her chair over to his desk to help pack. "It's time for lunch, we don't have too much time to just keep fiddling around uselessly."

Her small hand paused as she was about to carelessly pile the papers into his bag. She stared at them for a minute before looking up to Hikaru. There were words and drawings scribbled out on them and they didn't look like notes for school but rather drawings from a sketch book. She could see a cartoon-looking version of herself with her nose in a book and a bored-looking cartoon-Hikaru hovering near by. It was, frankly, kind of cute. A warmth spread through her body and she couldn't hide her soft smile. There were more, too, so many pages just covered with doodles upon doodles. She could feel Hikaru had frozen next to her. Ever so slightly though, he leaned toward her and kissed the side of her face so gently she could barely feel his lips brush her skin. He whispered something as he did it sounded like he'd said, _I love you,_ but she couldn't be quite sure.

"Haruhi... I'm... uhm..." he began, louder this time.

"I know..." Haruhi's previous stubbornness melted away at his awkward attempt for an apology. She remember the incident with Arai. That had been a problem for them at one point too. Hikaru had gotten so angry and so jealous for seemingly -to oblivious Haruhi- no reason, but the truth was that he had felt like she was leaving him. He'd felt like the only other person he began to want in his life was choosing others over him. Hikaru was still only beginning to be able to feel properly and he had no idea how to express his feelings at the time. He'd only ever had Kaoru, so when he began to see Haruhi as a person and not a toy there was possessiveness there that went unchecked. he's changed a lot since that moment, but there was still more to learn, and not just Hikaru needed to learn. Understanding was key, and as Haruhi thought more about the situation she could understand more as well. Neither of them needed to apologize, Hikaru was still learning to be open to others, and Haruhi was still learning to be in love and to be cared for.

"No, Haruhi, I... I am really sorry I said what I said yesterday... I'm sorry I lost my temper and... I'm sorry I am... so immature." He whispered the last word sheepishly. His face was growing more and more red as he sat there in silence. He'd apologized and it was a good and definite step forward in life. He was learning so much and he didn't want to give up on becoming better for those he loved. And he really loved her. It wasn't a typical teenage sappy romance, it was more of a commitment than that. He loved her as a friend, and he loved her as a girlfriend. He loved not just her beautiful smile and adorable self, but he loved her blunt words and obliviousness. He loved the flaws that made her different from others, and he loved her no-nonsense attitude. As it were, he was head over heels in love for a studious, dorky, cheeky, and blunt girl.

Gently, her cheeks now colored a rosy pink, Haruhi laid her head on Hikaru's shoulder. Softly, she whispered "It's alright. I know why you did it and I understand. The fight isn't only your fault, I reacted badly, but it's alright, right? We're both still fine." Hesitantly, Hikaru laid his hand on her head and began to gently stroke her soft hair. He was embarrassed now but the calm feeling of content washed over him. A wave of reality also chose that moment to hit and butterflies erupted in his stomach. Before they fought he'd taken every moment he could to be holding her hand or something, but it was _so_ different now. It felt more real, rather than just some beautiful dream. He now knew that they were a true couple and he felt ever more embarrassed around her as a result. It was a lovely sort of embarrassment where he fought between panic at her being near him, and a deep urge to wrap her in his arms and smother her with love.

"I brought a packed lunch, do you want to eat that now? Since I doubt we'll be going to get lunch in the cafeteria.."

"Way to ruin a romantic moment, Haru."

"It's a serious question," She protested laughing with her girlish smile.

"Well, I suppose I'd like some food..." Hikaru laughed, "but, honestly, we were having a moment."

The paper that Hikaru had slid into her notebook earlier came to mind now as she saw its corner peek out from her school bag. Hikaru, having followed her gaze, shook his head determinedly, "No. Nono, that was. I. You shouldn't" He became gradually more flustered as he spoke. "Just, well, wait... Actually, can I have it back? I will give it to you again, but at a... later date." There was a shyness in his voice, and a slight tremble in his hand as he jerked the paper from its hiding spot. Haruhi only watched bemusedly as he hurriedly shoved it into his backpack. She wanted to know what it was, but she was too busy enjoying the moment to question.

"By the way, Hika, can I have those doodles, maybe?" Her voice betrayed no emotion but her face which was tinted red showed her true embarrassment. She was delighted by the pictures of them two, and although it seemed cheesy, the girl wanted to have them. Carefully she pulled out her box and handed Hikaru a pair of chopsticks. To avoid answering the question Hikaru promptly shoveled a bite of food into his mouth, "Mphf, uhsh, Iom naut sho shur abhou dat," he said around a mouthful of food.

"Table manners," she only chided gently with a smile on her face.

He swallowed quickly, "I'm not so sure about that," he repeated nervously. The doodles in question were from before her and Haruhi had begun to date, and before he had confessed to her. They spanned the time that they were just becoming friends all up to now and Hikaru wasn't sure he wanted to admit quite yet how truly important she was. He wanted to shower her in his love, but he was new to this and it was a scary ordeal. Her eyes blinked, so wide and innocent, an expectant look on her face. "Haruhi..." he pleaded, the blush that had begun to fade came back once more.

"Well, it's not like they're inappropriate, I don't see why I shouldn't see them..." She paused as she narrowed her eyes at him, blandly she questioned, "They aren't... I should hope."

He laughed nervously in response. "They aren't, I swear." He shuffled them into a neater pile and laid one in front of her. "I will give one to you... okay? Every day I'll show you another one, and you can keep it. It gives me an excuse to both you on the weekends anyway."

She glanced down at the first one and grimaced a bit. It showed her drawn up with some horribly unpractical clothing on. Next to her figurine where sketches of more dresses and other clothes that were, thankfully, more her style. She raised an eyebrow, truly impressed with his attention to detail. A smile slowly found its way onto her face and she turned to him brimming with emotions she had yet to sort out completely. "Thank you, Hikaru, I really like it... I like the idea of getting one everyday..." She leaned against him again, taking comfort in his proximity. Hikaru cuddled her to him as well. "Thank you, I appreciate the pictures."

She stood up suddenly, "I do want to know what is in that note, though, so you will tell me Hikaru whether you want to or not," she demanded, but with a softer tone she continued, "it just doesn't have to be today."


	9. Just Like Old Times

A knock sounded at her door and she groaned. "Nooooo..." The small brunette stood quietly to answer the door. It was probably her... boyfriend - it was still weird to use the word, especially for him of all people - or it was his brother. Maybe it'd be both. With a resigned sigh she opened the door, not caring about her worn blue shorts or the baggy white t-shirt she had thrown on. She was cute in the oversized clothing, with her large doe eyes that always seemed to hold kindness. She may be independent and seemingly cold, but in truth Haruhi was the thoughtful and kind.

Slowly she blinked at the person who stood there. She was wrong on both ends. First of all, Tamaki was at her front step looking worried, and the cause of her and Hikaru's first true fight was there as well. "Tamaki-senpai? What are you doing here? And also Tsukune?"

"W-well, I do not know how you know this young man, but I just met him today as well..." Tamaki started, but went quiet at Haruhi's expression change. He couldn't describe it as being worried, but more like she did not want them there. Whatever he'd seen disappeared quickly enough though as she changed to a smile that did not hold as much warmth as she intended for it to. "I see, well, why're you here, Tsukune?"

"I-I just w-wanted to make sure every th-thing was okay with you and your boyfriend, I really hate the idea that I caused something to happen between you two, he seemed tense... and well you're the first person to help me since I've just come here and I only want to make friends. I'm going to a new school and all, and it's just... it's difficult, you know?"

Haruhi nodded in empathy. She remembered her first days at Ouran. She wasn't concerned about making an impression on the students, nor making friends, but even though she was so independent it was still a lonely experience. She has learned some valuable things spending time with the host club, and she has been learning to be dependent on someone else for a change too. She was learning that it is okay to get help sometimes. She'd never had learned this if it wasn't for the changes in her life and the people she has met. She sent Tsukune a more genuine smile, "Yeah, I understand. Well, you know where to come if you ever need help. Thank you for apologizing, and don't worry, Hikaru and I are fine."

With that statement Tsukune left, only after a few more hurried apologies. She turned once more to Tamaki now, who'd been sitting there patiently. "So... what's up?"

He smiled down at her, but soon a worried expression came across his face. "So, Hikaru and you? I'm happy for you two," and he was, even if it did hurt for whatever reason, "but are you happy?"

She paused for a moment to consider before nodding, "Yeah, I'd say I am." She couldn't help the blush that tinged her face. She hasn't talked much to the host club, let alone anyone else, about her relationships problems. So... it was interesting that Tamaki was asking about it all of a sudden.

"Well, as you know, I'll always be one of your best friends." He said, interrupting her thoughts, "and I know you, Haruhi, you're strong and don't want to lean on anyone, but I just... want to let you know that if you need anyone to talk to, that I'm here and will always continue to be your best friend."

He paused and Haruhi moved aside to let him into her home, he continued as he made his way to the small living room, "And well, I saw how upset you were at school yesterday. You seemed fine during club activities, but... I know you well enough and I know Hikaru well enough to know that something had happened." His serious expression broke off into a goofy smile as he teased, "And as your dear protector, I have to make sure my darling _daughter _is safe and sound." He flailed his hand about as he gestured to no one in particular.

Despite the theatrics it was comforting to Haruhi to hear. Even though the fight between them was short lived, it still shocked Haruhi how lonely she'd felt and how much worry had hit her. The reminder was needed that she wasn't alone. While she'd been brooding, she hadn't even considered her friends and their ability to help her.

"Thanks, Senpai, I really appreciate it."

"And, well, Haruhi, I also came because I'm here to pick you up for a special trip! The school has given us a few days off before finals, and the host club will be taking advantage of that! We'll be going to stay at a hotel. I've already talked to your dad, and it's worked out. Sooo..." He quirked an eyebrow up and stood with a flourish. "Let's go!"

_No._ She thought somewhat amused despite herself, but instead she only protested with, "But I haven't packed."

"It's all been taken care of!" He smiled as he took her hand and dragged her out of the house. _So much for studying, _was her only thought.

The car ride was blissfully short mostly because Haruhi slept most of the way and any of the time she was awake she read and took notes for the next chapter they'd be assigned in school. She'd gotten a few texts from Hikaru, but they consisted of him pouting that she'd driven with Tamaki, and Kyouya who'd apparently been with him the whole time but neglected to come to her door to pick her up. Tamaki chatted amiably with both, sometimes just normal conversations, and sometimes he went into his melodramatic state. Kyouya stayed mostly quiet, only once asking Haruhi what she was working on. Overall, it was a better car ride than what would have happened if she'd ridden with Hikaru and Kaoru.

The car slowed as they pulled up to a large mansion. It looked similar to their first beach trip, but she wasn't sure if it was the same one. At least, as she'd been told, there were no hosting duties to be done. Also, Mori and Honey were joining them again like they had before to help with hosting. Satoshi and Chika however remained at school. The whole point of their mini-vacation was to celebrate the last year that Kyouya and Tamaki would be there, and there wasn't even much of that year left with how quickly graduation was coming up. Soon it'd be Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi who were up to leave Ouran and the Host Club. She'd miss it, but she also thought she was ready to go forward with her life.

The day turned out to be beautiful, and although none of the hosts, or ex-hosts, had eaten yet they still ran out to the beach to play. Clothes were pulled off that revealed swim suits. Haruhi, who hadn't been prepared for this trip, walked with Kyouya up to the beach at a much slower pace.

"You aren't going to swim?" He asked coolly.

"I might, but I have to find my baggage and figure out if it is worth wearing whatever strip of swim suit I was given." She replied blankly.

"I'll have you know," he began, "I kept your father and Tamaki in check when packing your bag, and unless they did something to it, you should be just fine." With that little bit of comfort Haruhi smiled and picked up her pace.

After changing into a white ruffled one-piece swim suit, she took to the beach herself. There was still plenty of light in the late afternoon sun, but it probably wouldn't last long. She had to enjoy herself while she could. Hikaru jogged over to her the moment he saw her cute little head return.

"Haaaruuuuu," he sang with a smile, "I miiiissssedddd you!" And with that statement he quickly enveloped her into a hug. She returned it, although somewhat awkwardly, a light blush touching her face. "Hikaru, you saw me yesterday, it hasn't been that long," was all she said in reply to the loving gesture.

"Aww, but Haruhiii, that was forever ago, and Tono didn't let me pick you up, he insisted that he do it instead!"

"Yeaah... he had some things he wanted to talk about. It was nice, actually." Hikaru looked down at her with a questioning glance but she shrugged it off. "C'mon, Hika," she said with a charming smile, "let's swim."

The sun shone on the sandy beach and gleamed off of her pale skin. The warmth was nice and Hikaru's presence at her side was a joy as well. He could be obnoxious and ridiculous but she loved him all the same. They didn't say "I love you" all that often, it was a little embarrassing still, but they always showed each other they meant it. It was the little gestures that proved to Haruhi how he felt for her, and how she felt for him.

As they neared the surf he suddenly scooped her up and began running. Kaoru jogged behind a litte as Hikaru charged straight into the surf. "It'll be too cold, Hika!" Haruhi yelled as the first wave slid across his feet. He continued until it was up to his waist before gently setting her down. His face was red, either from effort, or the shy-like quality he had sometimes with her. Haruhi's own face was a nice pink as well. She stood beside him, the small waves rocking her back and forth.

He gently grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Haru, this'll be a great vacation..." with a short pause and a deep breath he turned to her, "Haruhi, I think that these next few years will be even better. Each..." He looked away shyly but with another gulp of air he continued, "Each day with you... I don't know where I'd be, or where Kaoru'd be without meeting the host club, but honestly, you are a life changer."

"Haruhi, I just... I'm so... so... glad you're mine..." A larger wave hit them at that moment causing Haruhi to momentarily lose her balance. She picked herself back up and quickly, without warning, gave him a small kiss on his cheek and another on his lips. It was short and sweet, but it showed her happiness well. She knew Hikaru was not one for smooth words about his feelings and such, he was bad at showing his true feelings. He was more for action rather than thought. He lived in the moment, but for Haruhi he'd slow down and he'd try to move at her pace.

She was a thinker, she enjoyed the little things and appreciated Hikaru's effort but she also had to put in effort. Haruhi was independent, she didn't want to burden others and it was a difficult thing for her to rely so completely on someone. It was difficult. For him though, just as he tried so hard for her, she would try so hard for him.

Hikaru interrupted their silence with a short laugh, "Hey, Haru, aside from the fact that... everything is different... it's... it's just like old times..." Together, hands clasped, they watched the host club play on the beach.


	10. The College Years

She flopped across the bed, her hair spread dramatically around her. Somehow this was it. The end of her time in the United States. It'd been some of the greatest years of her life, and she'd loved it dearly. Now was the time to go home again. A deep frown settled upon her face. _Hikaru._ She'd finally see him, and the rest of her high school friends. The two had been inseparable their last years of high school, but as the idea of moving to America to complete her schooling came again and again, so did some rather regrettable fights. In all honesty, the two of them fought quite a lot, but they still maintained a healthy relationship. Even though they were clumsy with their words and awkward with their actions, there was a love there unlike anything either of them had experienced before.

"I wonder..." She muttered to herself as anxiety began to worm itself into a pit in her stomach and clog her throat. She didn't feel like she was about to cry, nor did she feel she had any good reason to cry, but somehow she just felt so worried. Hikaru and Haruhi had decided, after many months of arguments and discussions that turned into arguments, that they would take a break on their relationship as each went through with their schooling. It had been hard at first, but they called each other often to talk and even though Hikaru wanted nothing more than to shout his love to her, because of his promise to remain friends, he couldn't. And so they talked, as friends- best friends. But as time went on they slowly began to call less, and text less. It was hard on the both of them.

"I'll see him again..." She sighed, "I wonder if he moved on already, or got himself into another relationship..." She couldn't lie to herself. Although she'd been on dates with others, and briefly dated a nice guy by the name of Michael, not that it was of any importance, she never felt the same toward them as she had toward Hikaru. Somehow she hadn't quite moved on. "We'll find out tomorrow, I guess."

Planes are dreadfully boring things. She cringed as she finally stood up, after a sixteen hour flight back to Japan.

Three years ago she had stood in the very same airport, with her Hikaru, and her friends. Now she was here waiting for her father. She would not be warmed by Hikaru's awkward smile and clumsy affection. The thought made her a bit sad, as the nostalgia of being in her homeland hit her like a brick. Haruhi wasn't one to allow herself to be fragile, but while she was alone- while she waited for her father she'd allow herself a moment of weakness. She'd allow herself to drown in happy memories, and sad alike. She'd allow herself to dwell on the past instead of stare adamantly at the future like she normally would.

"My baby girl!" She could barely turn to greet the voice before she was scooped up into a crushing hug. "H-hi dad," she barely managed as she felt crushed with warmth.

A deep breath in as she took in her dad's safe presence. "I'm home."

She sat on the train next to her father. It was early in the morning, so the train was fairly empty, only one other person was visible on the other side of the train. Still, as was polite, her father and her chattered in shushed voices. It was weird to once again sit on the cushioned seats of a bullet train, to see her father in all his glamour and eccentricity, to be home. It felt alien.

Being back in their small apartment was strange too. Once she was settled in, Haruhi finally plucked up the courage to ask what she was trully curious about. "So... how's Hikaru?"

Her dad smiled at her kindly, a bit of a worried look in his eyes. He took a deep breath before responding, "Now, Haruhi, you can't be expecting everything to be like it was when you left. I know that you and Hikaru said you were only taking a break, but you guys made the promise that you would try to date other people and have fun. I'm sorry, hunny, I don't want to see you get hurt.  
>He trailed off then.<p>

She could only nod in response, for her throat had seemed to close upon itself. She wasn't the most emotional of people, and was normally good at hiding her feelings, yet somehow it felt like she'd been punched in the gut. _Why was he telling me this? Is Hikaru.. with someone?_ She couldn't bring herself to ask.

"Haruhi, hunny, don't look so upset please, I don't know if he's with someone or not, but I just want you to remember that you were the one who insisted on taking a break. You were the one who wanted to make sure he was free to make choices."

She attempted a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Three years was a very long time, she knew that, but still she'd hoped everything could go back to how it was. Now, with her dad's cautionary advice, she realized the truth of the matter- three years is far too long to except everything to remain the same. _Hikaru is an attractive guy... I mean, he might be clumsy, awkward, and hard to talk to. He may be pig-headed, a rich brat, and narcissistic at times... He may be just plain stupid, rude, and vulgar at times... but he is also intelligent... he's caring, he's sweet. He throws his love toward you in the only way he knows how, and even if it's sometimes clumsy. Even if his actions are awkward or his affection is messy, it is also real. He is a beautiful complex person... he's... I'm... I'm still hoping that nothing will have changed between us._

"Hey pops," Kaoru smiled pleasantly while moving to hug Haruhi's father. Somehow in the three years of Haruhi's absence, the host club had become fairly close with Ranka, especially Kaoru and Hikaru. "I brought Haruhi's dress over, I know she might have planned to wear something, but I mean, well, I think she should wear this. Ya know?" _Presumptuous as always. _Haruhi thought as she listened from the other room.

A few moments later and she heard the soft click as the door was shut tight. Ranka came in a moment later holding a white lace dress. It was really quite pretty. Even she, who didn't care for appearances, could admit that the dress was beautiful. She took a moment to admire the long sleeves, lose on the end, beautiful and flowing, the white fabric underneath that looked so soft to the touch, and when she finally donned the dress she could only gasp in amazement. It was like a fairy dress. It hugged her chest and waist before flowing out to stop around he knees. "It's... wow..." was all she could say. "They've really been getting quite amazing with their designs and clothing..." she mused softly. _Well, I guess Kaoru was right. I should wear this dress instead._


End file.
